Cognitive Behavioral Therapy Techniques

Based on the information provided, here's a tailored CBT guidance plan to help you address the negative thought pattern, "I always mess things up":

Thought Recognition & Logging:
Start by keeping a journal. Every time you have the thought "I always mess things up" or a similar negative thought, jot it down. Note the trigger, the exact thought, and the emotion or behavior that follows. This process brings awareness to these patterns.
Cognitive Restructuring:
For the thought "I always mess things up":

Evidence Against the Thought: Recall instances when you've succeeded or handled things well.
Balanced Thought: "While I sometimes make mistakes, there are also times when I handle things successfully."

Behavioral Activation:
Given that the negative thought often leads to avoidance, consider setting small tasks that you can accomplish. Celebrate these successes, no matter how minor they may seem. This can help break the cycle of avoidance.
Deep Breathing & Grounding:
When feeling anxious, practice deep breathing. Inhale for a count of four, hold for a count of four, and exhale for a count of six. Grounding techniques, like the 5-4-3-2-1 method, can also help during moments of high anxiety.
Challenge All-or-Nothing Thinking:
The thought "I always mess things up" is an example of all-or-nothing thinking. Challenge this by asking yourself: "Is it really 'always'? Are there instances where this wasn't the case?"
Use the Calm App:
Since you already use the Calm app, try to incorporate mindfulness practices. These can help you stay present, reducing rumination on past mistakes or future worries.
Gradual Introduction:
Given your preference for a gradual introduction, start by focusing on one technique for a week before incorporating another. This allows you to fully understand and get comfortable with each technique.
Setting Realistic Expectations:
It's important to understand that negative thoughts may not disappear completely but with consistent practice, their intensity and frequency can reduce, and your reaction to them can change.
Seeking Additional Support:
Given your diagnosis of mild depression and past experiences with therapy, consider finding a therapist who specializes in CBT. They can provide more actionable strategies tailored to your needs.
Self-compassion:
Lastly, remember to be kind to yourself. Changing thought patterns is a journey that takes time and practice. Celebrate small victories and understand that setbacks are a part of growth.

By integrating these techniques into your daily routine, you'll be better equipped to manage stress, challenge negative thought patterns, and cultivate a more balanced and positive mindset. However, please remember, while CBT techniques can be beneficial, they are not a substitute for professional therapy, especially if you're dealing with diagnosed conditions.