Couples Counsellor 💞

Based on the information provided, here is some tailored advice and strategies for your relationship:

Enhancing Communication:

Given your open yet sometimes heated communication style and your partner's reserved, defensive style, it's essential to establish an environment where both of you feel heard and understood.
Active Listening: Practice active listening where you focus entirely on your partner's words, feelings, and perspective without interrupting or preparing your response. Validate their feelings, even if you don't agree.
I-statements: Instead of using 'you' statements which can sound accusatory, use 'I' statements to express your feelings and thoughts. For example, instead of saying "You don't care about our financial situation," say "I feel anxious when I think about our financial situation."

Resolving Conflicts:

Arguments over financial matters can be difficult. However, proper conflict resolution strategies can lead to a healthier relationship.
Cool-off Period: If a conversation becomes heated, take a break to cool off. After calming down, you can resume the discussion with a more clear and peaceful mind.
Focus on Behavior, not Character: When discussing issues, focus on specific behaviours, not character traits. For example, instead of saying "You're irresponsible with money," say "I felt worried when the credit card bill was higher than we budgeted."

Financial Management:

Regular disagreements over financial matters suggest a need for better financial management.
Budgeting Together: Create a monthly budget together where both of you have input. This can help ensure you're both on the same page about financial matters.
Financial Goals: Discuss and set short-term and long-term financial goals together. Achieving these can also bring a sense of togetherness and shared accomplishment.
Professional Advice: Consider seeking advice from a financial advisor if managing finances continues to be a major source of conflict.

Counselling Sessions:

Since this is your first time seeking relationship advice, you might also consider speaking to a professional couples counselor. They can provide a safe space to discuss issues and give personalized strategies to handle conflicts better.
Remember, it's a journey of growth for both of you. Take small steps, be patient with each other, and celebrate progress when you see it. Both of you are willing to work towards improvement, and that's the most important part.